Before we get into how to control our tongue, I want to share more about how serious of an issue our words can be….
It’s rare that I get “personal” on my blog, but I feel it’s necessary to show how I came to this revelation about our words:
I once dated a guy who was a faithful church-goer–a musician for the church actually…..he seemed to know God’s Word & even wanted to hold Bible studies with me…He didn’t drink, smoke, or curse—or at least, I thought he didn’t curse. Whenever we got into an argument, he would call me names or put me down and he would even throw my misfortunes back in my face by saying, “that’s why ____ & ____ happened to you” or “That’s why those other guys you dated ____ & ____ because you’re so ____”…that’s when I learned that this guy didn’t use profanity, but he definitely cursed me out.
When I realized that our arguments were becoming more frequent and his insults more demeaning, I asked God about my relationship with Mr. Tongue Lasher. Then I randomly flipped to 2 Corinthians 6 in my Bible after posing that question and my eyes landed on the following verse:
14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
I was confused because I thought that this guy was a believer–I mean, everyone has their problems–and this guy just had a problem with controlling his tongue when he’s angry. But when I consulted God about him on a separate occasion, I instantly flipped to Luke 6:
43 For a good tree bringeth not forth corrupt fruit; neither doth a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
44 For every tree is known by his own fruit. For of thorns men do not gather figs, nor of a bramble bush gather they grapes.
45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.
As much as Mr. Tongue Lasher thought he showed me he cared (and told me when I tried to leave), his words revealed otherwise. He apologized over and over after each episode and I just couldn’t figure out why he struggled with verbally attacking me; yet, he tried to convince me he loved me through his actions. In a short time, his contradictory behavior revealed deeper issues and I understood what God tried to tell me the first time. Although I was fooled by this guy’s religious behavior, God revealed his heart to me. In this case, words spoke louder than actions.
When I looked into this further…there were other verses showing the connection between our heart & mouth:
Proverbs 15:28 The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.
Proverbs 16:23 The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.
Ecclesiastes 5:2 Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.
Matthew 15:18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
Those are just a few verses, but overall, a wise and righteous (wo)man is mindful of the words (s)he speaks. Why? Because our words have spiritual consequences. This is demonstrated through our salvation experience:
9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
The confession that we make when we cry out to God and invite Christ into our lives is an act of the belief in our hearts that Jesus is Lord & Savior of our lives. If all it takes is our mouth confession to come to him…then there is a flip side to this.
Jesus said in Matthew 12:
35 A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.
36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
37 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
Imagine giving an account of everything you said today….or even in the past hour. Were you building someone up or tearing them down? Did you wish negative things on your enemy or did you pray for them? Were you complaining about your situation or did you ask God to help you with it? If our words can either justify us before God or condemn us, then an uncontrolled mouth shouldn’t be dismissed as a mere character flaw (e.g., “I didn’t mean to say it–I was upset”/ “It’s hard for me to say anything nice”)….nor should we dismiss it as a personality trait (e.g., “Hey, I just tell it like it is”/”They say something to me, I’m going to say something back!”/”They know I was just playing with them”)….So how do we control an uncontrollable mouth? Stay tuned for part 3.
In His Love,